Love, like death, changes anything
by IrisDeBlanche
Summary: Caroline is human. She's got cancer. Klaus is a vampire but she doesn't know. Will he be able to sooth her sufferings? AU
1. Prologue

**Hi everyone! Thank all the people who have favorite/follow this ff. Not having any beta, I ask your pardon in advance for all the grammar/spelling mistakes that you could find. After a brief hiatus, I've decided to keep on with this story but I've seen that some things needed to be changed, so I've made some modifies. I hope that you will still enjoy this story. Thanks again!**

**Prologue**

She was dying. Or at least that was what the clinical report said. However, it was not unusual for doctors to be wrong, wasn't it? It happened that results were misjudged or changed with others. Maybe, while she was there paralyzed for her not-going-to-be future; another woman in the other part of Mystic Falls was reading the news of a new pregnancy or of an ulcer or God-knows-what when actually she had a brain cancer. But she didn't know 'cause our results had been exchanged.

It had to be gone in that way. That was clear, because, let's face the reality, the cancer was not hers.

She was just nineteen. She was not supposed to have cancer. In a few months she should have graduated, celebrated with her boyfriend and friends, got drunk in New York and then come back and chose my courses at university... she couldn't be dying. She was nineteen, she was Miss Mystic Falls, she was chief in charge for parties in my high school. She wasn't supposed to be dying... It had to be just a normal medical exam. It had to be some sort of stress disease or one of those billions freaking disorders associated with adolescence.

She couldn't die. She wouldn't die.

So, it was with this resolution and the clinical report in her hands that, when Dr Fell came back in the studio, she said:

" I'm sorry Dr Fell but I think there must have been a mistake. You see, these results can't be mine. I don't smoke, I've always had a healthy and fabulous life style...well, maybe I could have drunk a beer once or twice, and maybe recently I shouldn't have dined so many times at the Mystic Grill, but I'm a cheerleader and, truth be told, my legs haven't seen a gram of fat since the second year of the elementary school" she kept talking with tears coming up into her eyes "These CAN'T be my results..."

"Caroline" Meredith Fell interrupted trying to calm her down holding her shoulders to keep her still- she hadn't realized that she was shivering - "was there when you were born, believe me when I say that I am far more surprised and..." she sighed " neither I could accept the results at the beginning, but I've checked them three times... I'm truly sorry"

"Oh my God..." she whispered staring into her eyes with those tears now running through her face "I ...I'm dying". And she nodded.

And here it was how she got it. It is not a piece of paper, or some blood exams or your body that falls into wrecks that make you realize your conditions; it's when you see that mixture of sadness and pity into someone else's eyes that you know what the reality is.


	2. Chapter 1

After that, her mother came to the hospital (apparently she were unstable and not strong enough to face all this alone) and had been closed - for more than an hour - talking in private with Dr Fell in her studio while she was there, waiting in the hall, with a nurse who, despite supposing to be baby-sitting her, was actually all Grey's-anatomnly flirting with an apprentice.

Looking at her poor attempt to flirt with him (God, you could have drown in her drooling), she realized that that was how the things would have go on from that point. Would she get someone to follow me anywhere? Fuck. In a few months she'd hoped to gain her complete independence, to be finally totally free from any trivial small-town-girl convention, to embrace the joy of university with its parties and sororities and new people. Instead it looked like she would have to come back to freedom of a 5-year-old child.

As all the mating thing seemed to be last for long, she took advantage of her distraction and made for a snack machine. At least now she had an excuse to drown her sorrow into sweets. Who would have noticed her cellulite from the coffin? But this hadn't to be her lucky day, since that after having taken the coins, the machine looked to be stuck.

"What the hell" she exhaled smashing her hands over the glass of the machine to make it work.

"You know ,love, there are other ways, far less brutal and quieter, to adjust it" said someone with a hint of sarcasm in his accented voice.

She turned her head at the left. There was a guy. Maybe twenty-three/twenty-four years old from the appearance; but there was something in the way he stood, leaned against the wall, that gave him a distinct and respectful air. What to add: dirty blond hair, blue eyes and a smirk on his face that made her wanna slap him.

"Well, please, light me up with your experience" she invited him indicating the machine with a hand.

"Oh, who mentioned anything about showing up my tricks" he answered crossing his arms and enjoying the scene.

She rose my eyebrows. Was he kidding her? Had her day not been enough for now? Was she in a sort of candid camera? "Then why did you stop? Is mocking me so funny? Don't you have something else to do?" she asked him a bit frustrated, keeping on smashing her hands on the glass.

"What can I say? I'm impossibly attracted by damsel in distress" he claimed, not even hiding the pleasure that the situation was giving him. It had been a long time since that someone had dared to talk to him in that way. "If only she knew who I am" he thought giving a very interested look to the beautiful girl in front of him. Usually even the ones to whom his name was unknown, and they were not so many, had a sort of instinctual respect and fear towards him; nevertheless this young woman had even barely considered his presence. He didn't know if that was more annoying or amusing to him.

"I must have missed your shining armour" she replied with a fake smile, trying to be clear about her wish for him to evaporate.

Even more interested in the feisty girl, he came behind her, his lips lightly brushing against her ear "Never said I was a white knight" he whispered in a husky tone.

"Believe me" she exhaled, blushing for the closeness of his chest to her back " I've noticed". Stupid hormones. Stupid, stupid hormones.

He smirked, sensing the raced beating of her heart.

"Well" he did walking away and looking at his watch "I'm sorry to interrupt our lovely conversation but I must go, as you said, I gotta something to do. See you around, love".

And with this sentence and two firm knocks on the machine he left.

When she looked back at the bottom of the glass, her Oreo were out.

Once that her mother left the studio, she come back to her sad and creepy reality of a cancer affected.

"Dr Fell has told me that there are some cures, and that you could follow some programmes. Then there are the chemo. She actually gave me the number of this oncologist, Dr Salvatore. He's new in town, he's been here for a year or less but she says that he knows what he does. I'll call him later to have an appointment " she keeps rambling while walking back home – she had never seen her mother so anxious; usually she was always calm like if she was perfectly in control of everything - "Look Caroline," she suddenly added, stopping from walking, with a serious but soft voice staring her in the eyes "I know that I haven't been such a good mother but I swear that I'll be next to you in these months, ok? You're not lonely" and as fighting the tears that she had seen coming into her eyes , she looked away checking her watch. "Now I should go back work honey. Are you ok? Can you stay alone for a while?" she asked her a bit concerned.

"Sure mum". She would have liked to make some irony about how she had actually lived alone since her father had left them, without her worrying for her meals or checking her homework like the other mothers did. But today it was not the case.

"See you tonight honey" and so, she went away.

She had barely taken a step inside that got a message from Elena "How do you do?".

She exhaled, a bit tired and a bit amused by the question. "If only she knew..." and here there was her dilemma: tell them or not tell them, that was the question. Of course, they were her friends. She had shared and confided them her most intimate thoughts since she could remember. They even knew of when in primary school, Mark Scoffield, of the other second class, had bullied her after school because of her father. She remembered to have cried for a week. Before she didn't know that what her father was or liked was considered like a sort of guilt by many. How could it be? Well, yeah, she hadn't been happy when he had left them alone, but she didn't blame that on Steven... Her mother had never known the reason she had feared going to school for those two weeks. She just told her two friends... She started thinking, throwing her bag on the bed and switching the computer on. Ugh, although she couldn't but remember the doctor's expression. That sense of commiseration and comprehension as she could understand her feeling, her situation. Would she ever be able to constantly read the seriousness of her disease in other people's eyes, into my friends' eyes?".

After she had begun reading some of those brochures that Meredith had given her mother and had glanced at the pictures of those patients, all bald and pale and sad...she knew that she would not be able to endure through all this alone . So she asked Elena and Bonnie out.

"Mmm, you know that to see your future you must read coffee grounds and not the tea ones, do you?" joked Bonnie, laughing on the fact that Caroline had stared at the bottom of the cup since Matt has served her.

"Sorry, it's that.. ugh, I don't even know how to tell you. I mean, it's not that easy" she rambled, not finding the words she needed.

"Please, don't tell me we already must begin with the preparations for prom. My lungs haven't recovered yet from the last ball... just the thought of other balloons makes me wanna stake me with a pencil" claimed ironically Elena eating a fry and checking her phone, as she had constantly done since we got here.

"No, no, don't worry" she ensured her lightly laughing "and, just for the record, your balloons weren't so inflated so I can't see your complain. By the way, I gather you here today to tell you something... Oh God, I didn't want to sound so grieving and mournful; well, of course I expect you to be sad, very sad for me, but perhaps I should have.."

"Care, I reckon that you are wondering off" Bonnie stopped her covering her hand.

Squeezing it, she found the courage to say "I've got a brain cancer and..."

"WHAT !" shouted Elena and Bonnie together, visibly shocked "Care, if you're joking .."

"Please, let me finish. I have a brain cancer and, as I have understood, they can't remove it , so I just can follow some therapy to, well..." how could she explain to them the reason of her next months of living hell if neither she could see the use of those useless cures?

"Oh Care..." did Elena, caressing her other hand.

"No, please, no. Don't do this, neither of you. Promise me, promise to never treat me like a proximal corpse-to-be or like a little kicked puppy. I'm not looking for pity or compassion. I'm always the same, so I expect you to keep on chat, smile and making fun of me. Is it clear? So, now, say something. Let's talk about anything else; make me forget all this crap" she said smiling, wanting just to have a normal girl chat with my friends.

"Well, in this case, we could talk about the fellow with whom Elena is texting since we got here" added Bonnie smirking to her.

"Ah, he's no one" the brunette answered trying to contain her smile "he's just a guy that I met in the cemetery while I was writing my diary, you know, near my parents' graves"

"Let's say that's a bit awkward" exclaimed Bonnie with a half disgusted face "what was he doing there ?"

"He said that he was there to find some peace, to rest his mind. He's got a certain sense of humor"

"Ooh, that's a bit creepy" added the blonde "Darling, before to get too much involved you should check if he's not into kinky stuff or either in some sort of cult. Maybe he was looking for a corpse for some Satanic ritual. Please, if that's so, don't you even dare to give mine to him"

"How could we?" intervened Bonn kidding "Of course your corpse will be donate to the Town Council that will expose it in a museum named after you, for "the beauty and the parties given to our society" " then turning to Elena "So, what's his name?"

"Damon".

"Since when knocking has become a forgotten costume, Klaus?" asked Dr Salvatore not even raising his head from the clinical report he is analysing.

"You know Stefan, you should find someone a bit more awake as a secretary" stated Klaus while wandering through the studio "I don't think she even noticed that I've arrived"

"Then we can talk about why you are here" replied the doctor, selecting another file to check.

"I was really impressed when I found out that you had become a doctor, ripper. Last time I checked you were on the other side, weren't you?" smiled the Original finding a seat on the other part of the desk.

"Again, Klaus, why are you here?" repeated clearly annoyed and now more seriously Stefan, finally looking the other man in the eyes.

"How rude, shouldn't you be a bit more friendly with an old pal?" he smirked standing up from the chair "Anyway, I've just come to collect some blood bags for Rebekah. She wants to try a new diet. You know, she quite likes this town and she wouldn't arise some suspects with unnecessary deaths. Women. Me, on the other hand..."

"It's a quite town, Klaus. Let's not change that". It had been a lot since Stefan had been in Mystic Falls, his native town, and had the total intention to remain there until he could. Despite everything, it was still the only place he could call home. Anyway he was no fool and knew that the Mikaelson family meant "danger". The quiet day were over.

"Oh, but we all want the same things, ripper. You just must provide me with some blood bags every week. I could compel and steal and hide and so on, but I'm a very busy man" explained the hybrid getting close to the desk "so if we could skip all this unnecessary steps... " and noticing the frown forming between the doctor's eyes, he continued " ... or I could just dry out some of those terminally ill, they would be dead in a while, after all" he finished with a smile which showed his dimples.

"I'll let you know when it's available, until then you won't come here, and don't you dare to touch anyone of my patients"

"Perfect. And don't worry, as long as I have my bags I'll pretend to tame your poor excuse of a threatening; although I wouldn't attempt to do it again if I were you," then, resting both his hands on the desk and leaning towards him "_I'm_ the one who puts conditions, don't forget it"

"Then..." but Stefan's words were interrupted by Stacey, the secretary, who, opening the door, introduced his next patient.

When Stefan turned his head to the balcony, the windows were open and Klaus was gone.

"Please, come in. Let's sit" gently said Stefan looking at the two women sat in front of his desk.

" You must be Caroline Forbes" kept saying, turning his head to the young girl. Looking into her eyes, he could see her fear, doubts, hesitations but even something that he couldn't soon identify if not as a light, yeah... the light of a candle that looked fragile but that, despite everything, bravely fought to keep staying alive. Despite everything she had to have come to know, she seemed not to have lost her thirst of life.

"I've talked with your mother" informs her now nodding to the Sheriff Forbes "and I've also had a talk with Dr Fell, to be unacknowledged of every aspect of your healthy state. Unfortunately your case is a very sorrowful one, but I'll do everything I can to help and support you. You should come here every 21 days for the chemotherapy and then, at home, every day you must take some pills that I'll prescribe you. Now, if you want to make me some questions"

"Well..." Caroline was hesitantly starting before to be interrupted by her mother.

" Will she be able to keep on doing all her daily activities?" asked Liz deeply concerned.

"Yeah, sure. Of course, one or two days after the chemo she will probably feel nausea and she'll be a bit of a wreck but she can conduct a normal life. She can do anything she wants as long as she can endure it" answered Dr Salvatore with a comforting smile addressed to Caroline.

"But I wondered..." tried Caroline again, even this time interrupted by the older woman.

"When should she start with the pills ? Before or after the chemo? How many times a day? At the morning or at the evening?"

"I'll write down all the information about this aspect in the recipe and, regarding that, I've just noticed that I've run out of sheets. Sorry Sheriff, could you make me a favour and go at the first floor and ask any nurse for any, please?"

As Liz left the studio,

" I didn't want to sound rude, and I understand that she's a mother and is concerned for you" began Stefan, standing up from his place and sitting into the chair where the sheriff had been before.

"Now, that's just you and me, and I can tell there are some things you wanna ask me. Please, don't be afraid to speak."

"I...I've done some researches and they said that I could lose my hair, is that right?" she asked staring at her hands, actually hiding her true interest.

"Well, the chemical industry has greatly improved in the last years, so theoretically with these new medicine you shouldn't lose your hair; on the other hand that's just hypothetical. It's not sure. It depends on how your body will react. By the way, I don't' think that's your real doubt. Although I understand that hair is un undoubtedly important part in the life of an American teenager" he joked. And holding her shoulder he encouraged her "Come on Care, tell me what you really wanna know"

Cause a very long medical experience and all those years spent watching people embracing their fatale destiny, there had always been one question that they had asked:

"How much do I have?" she finally whispered between her lips, sniffing to not make those tears spill from her eyes.

"Six, eight months at the longest, I'm sorry" he answered softly. Then, as sensing it was the right thing to do, he stood up carrying her with him into a hug. And with this move, every attempt to stay composed fell and she started sobbing loudly into his arms, crying hard, as she had never done in her life.

"I'm sorry. You're nineteen, you should be out smiling and laughing and worrying about your dress for the prom or the shoes to pair with it ; and not certainly here, trying to come to pact with your life. I know that telling you "I know how you feel" won't make your day but..." he just made some space between them, sensing her recollecting herself "I'm here, for everything, even just to stay sit in silence. Consider me not just as your doctor, but even as a friend, ok?" . She nodded.

And for the first time, Caroline found in those comforting eyes that the burden that had pressed her chest for a few days had finally gone. Well, not really gone gone, but at least softened.

She was dying, and maybe she had just few months, but she would have made sure that those months would have been the best ones of her life.


	3. Chapter 2

It was still dawn and she was already up. It was quite funny thinking that when you knew your days were numbered, even night hours seemed to be so useful and important that it was almost a waste to spend them sleeping.

She got up and went open the window. The weather was a bit overcast, but it could be due to the early time. She inspired some fresh air. Ah, how could it happen that she felt so full of energy now that she was supposed to be dreadful and weak? How could faith be so absurd and petty? A week ago, by that time, she would have been in her bed, sleeping lazily; and now that she should, she wanted rock the world. How could timing be so unnervingly out of any reasonable logic? Probably, up there, someone, God or some of his "secretaries", was getting bored and so now they were joking with her, expecting to see what her reaction to all this would have been. She could just imagine these two old women betting and sneering on her condition while, with a pair of scissors, were cutting someone else's life line . Perhaps that was just the reason they were having fun. In the end, whatever her decision would have been, whatever thing she would have done, however she would have behaved, her future was up to them. Probably, when she would have just get accustomed to this situation and she would be thinking that all this shit had come to make her stronger, to enforce her, to make her a better person... just then, they would have cut her line too. Oh my God, what the fuck was she thinking?

And shaking her head at the dumbness of her thoughts she went away from the window. Anyway, as weather was not that bad, and as in a while she wouldn't probably have any time, or better, possibility to enjoy a healthy run, she decided to go jogging.

She had been running for an hour and, despite being so early, she had already noticed loads of people who were already leaving their houses, who for work, who for a trip, who was having a run like her, who was taking the dog for a walk before starting the day... she had never considered all those people. It was like before she had just thought that when she opened her eyes, so it was for everyone. Well, she knew there were other people with other lives. However, she didn't even know how to explain this to herself, but it's like before she had never really understood...or felt other existences, that other people could actually be different from her. It was as till now she had lived her life as it stood for itself ; she was closed in her existence not bothering or considering what there was outside or her neighbour's problems or other people's realities.

Like when you went to watch a movie and you reckoned that it sucked and then someone said that she or he had loved it and that it was amazing, and you maybe had let it be, 'cause you were not interested in arguing that; but deep, in yourself, even accepting that vision, you didn't think that it could be right, 'cause that film sucked, full stop.

And now it seemed that she had finally understood why they had thought so... perhaps you still didn't like it, but you got their point.

Who knew why all this was coming to her mind. It had to be her "new condition" or it could be that she still didn't see herself as a cancer afflicted. Well,... she knew what she had but... before, when she thought of cancer, she had in mind bold children with pale faces, and she was sad for them. Now she understood that they had just been a figure, a representation of her mind which, even though it looked like reality, hadn't caught the true spirit of that. Maybe that even happened with people in general. They had an opinion of someone and, for them, that person was in life like they had designed it in their mind, while actually he or she hide other worlds or realities that they could even have liked if they wouldn't have been blurred by their own prejudices.

And so she stopped running, with sweat running through her face and her hands placed over her knees. Here it came the epiphany: what if now _she was_ the bold child with pale face for someone else? Before, for many, she was the blonde brainless cheerleader. Now, instead, she would be the dead-to-be girl. She couldn't accept that.

Tired by all this thinking and running, she sat on a bench.

She didn't want that. She didn't want to become the next poor victim of cancer, she didn't want to be "the one-who's-ill"' character of the main argument of after-meal-chats in family. As she thought of that, tears started running through her face, she'd like to scream, to assert herself, to tell anyone who still she was.

"But not for long..." a voice said in her mind.

And, like that, tears stopped falling and desperation stopped its flow.

She needed to come back home.

Here she found, waiting for outside, leaned next to his car, Tyler. They had been together for quite a year now. Things were going great, well, more or less. There were some ups and downs, but in the end she couldn't complain.

"Hey Care, where have you been?" he greeted kissing her lightly on the lips.

"I went running".

" Since when do you go jogging?" joked he raising an eyebrow. Despite the innocence of the sentence, Caroline couldn't but feel a bit annoyed by what he'd claimed. Was she already changing her habits? Was she already planning her life from a terminal patient's point of view?

"Yesterday I went to bed early, " she answered building a faking smile "so I've raised up first this morning" ok, that wasn't exactly the truth and that made her feel a bit guilty. She hadn't told him anything yet about the disease. She knew that she should have told him the truth but all her dears had been so concerned lately that she didn't want them to be worried about her stupid thoughts "By the way, why are you here?" she asked, now surprised by his presence.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten the school trip?".

"Oh Gosh !" she exclaimed smashing a hand over her forehead "The Art Museum. I'm sorry. I swear I'll be ready in five minutes" I promised rushing to her bedroom.

" Care... "she heard Tyler sighing. They both knew that neither in an alternative, visionary and unexplored universe she could get ready in five minutes.

"Ok, maybe ten".

"Caroline.." the warning could easily be read behind her name.

"Not more than twenty, promised"

"Remember that the bus leaves at eight thirty. Come on!"

"...and that is why Picasso is considered one of the most important painters of 90s" finished the guide.

Like coming back from another planet, few students clapped their hands, more for the fact that she had finished than for a reward for her nonexistent ability.

"She's been even more boring than Matt's talks about football" whispered Bonnie in the blonde's ear while clapping her hands, gaining a light giggle from her.

" Now, you've got other two hours to have a look around and grab something to eat" affirmed Professor Alaric " The bus will leave at half past four, not even a second after. Do you hear me Mr Lockwood?".

"Why do you point me, prof ?" did Tyler while other students started laughing "even Matt was late last time".

"Shut up, dude" said the blonde guy shoving an elbow on the other guy's latter stopped him and put his arm around Matt's neck, joking.

"Remember that we're still in the museum" warned Elena shaking her head at the boys' scene.

"Yeah, and after Mrs Boredom's lesson, I'm looking forward to escaping from here. What about burger and beer at the pub at the other part of the street?" proposed Tyler recollecting himself smiling.

"Let's go" agreed Bonnie.

"Well, I'd like to take another look around here. I'll reach you in a bit " said Caroline.

Wandering for museums it was not something she usually did and, despite how it had been the beginning of the day, at the moment she found herself quite relaxed there, surrounded by all those pictures painted by people who, even being dead by now, still had such an influence on people.

"Okay " said Matt loudly leaving with the others and gaining a few bad sights from other visitors.

Looking around she saw several paintings whose permanence in that building was inexplicable. Why should few spots of colours put at random be exposed in a museum? She was still mentally debating that when she found a picture that left her completely breathless. She had just had a general glare at the painting and already the tears had reached her eyes (when did she get so weepy? ). She couldn't understand the reason, but the feeling that this painting had just provoked in her was so thick and hurtful and full that she felt like suffocating in a sea of sorrow. Despite the pain the picture was evoking in her, she couldn't but keep looking at it.

" Do you like it, love ?"said a familiar British accented voice from behind her.

She turned, a bit annoyed for having been distracted from the internal chaos the painting had just caused. She was surprised by the sight of the guy she had met last time in the hospital. That time she had to be too much agitated for not having noticed how hot the man was. Or maybe it was just the black Henley which was doing a really good job with his chest. However, a sort of angst soon took place of the surprise at the remembrance of that cocky smirk still placed on his face.

"Are you stalking me?" she asked, getting a bit nervous when he got closer.

"No, sweetheart. Don't worry. I've actually been invited here for a sort of congress" he explained, now staring at the picture "By the way" he added turning his attention to her "I can ensure you that if I ever wanted to stalk you, I'd know how to do it. I can be _very_ subtle" he finished with another sex.., annoying smile, causing a breeze running through her spine. He's bad, Caroline. Stop looking at his lips. He's really bad, Caroline.

"I just can imagine" she whispered trying to come back on the earth.

" However, you haven't told me yet if you like it or not" he claimed putting his arms behind his back.

At this sentence she looked again at the painting, and again, that sensation of hurt and solitude invaded her.

"It has something, or well.." she tried to explain " it gives me something that, from a point of view, breaks my heart harmfully apart, and from an other one, it's like a source of... cold water in what I'd like to collapse".

As she saw his eyes widening and an unreadable expression (surprise? misunderstanding? mocking?) forming on his face, she kept talking, trying to be more clear. She was a bit embarrassed for all the things she was saying and she just hoped that he wouldn't notice her cheeks getting redder and redder.

"When I look at it, I can't but feel a deep and anguished loneliness. Nevertheless, this feeling is so pure and true and human that I feel purified by this pain... Actually I don't know if what I've said has any meaning" she suddenly stopped, lowering her gaze.

Why the hell she had to say all those nonsense staff to a stranger? Now he would have certainly taken advantage of the situation to make fun of her.

"It's full of people" he interrupted her thoughts.

"Sorry?"

"You've said that it inspires solitude, but actually, there are lots of elements and human beings represented".

"Oh, yeah" she stammered "I've not put any attention at the rest of it... they all seem ..nothing. You see, I was concentrated on that child, the one sat under the tree. All seems to turn around him, but nothing actually concerns him" she claimed convinced, even more taken by the picture " A bit like my life now" she added in alabile whisper that Klaus' vampire ears didn't miss.

He craved saying something, anything... it was unusual for him to be in lack of words and this situation embarrassed and angered him at the same time. How dared that little human to say anything about him? How could she be so peculiar?

"Interesting observations" he finally said with a fake mocking tone, trying to hide the mess that her statements had just caused into him.

"You shouldn't have expected too much from a blond head" she said a bit too harshly than she had intended.

It was quite mesmerizing how this little thing could pass from being embarrassed and touched to proudly raged in a sec. She must not have been used to be seriously considered.

"I didn't mean that. On the contrary, I'm delighted by your opinions. I'd actually liked to hear some more of them" he claimed in a serious tone, getting closer to her.

"Are you asking me out?" she questioned in disbelief. Seriously?

"You're saying it as if I would have just asked you to come naked... not that I wouldn't appreciate the amazing view". And the way his eyes were checking her out completely supported what just said.

"Oh, please" she exclaimed, confused by all this situation "and then, _I wouldn't_ appreciate your presence. Seriously, I've just seen you twice and, truth be told, you haven't had such a great impression on me. You've been a jerk both times.." she added getting more and more agitated "and, I mean, I don't even know your name".

"My name's Klaus. Now, would you go out with me, sweetheart?" he questioned again now at just few inches from her, staring intensely into her eyes with a playful smirk on his face.

"What? NO" she exploded – after recovering from a moment of shock - taking a step behind to make some space between the two of them "Have you actually heard what I've just said?"

"Yeah, I've just listened to a loads of poor excuses and, _truth be told,_no one of them has concerned who I must consider your boyfriend, the dark haired guy. Am I wrong, Caroline?"

"How do you know of Tyler?" and reflecting more carefully at his words "and who told you about my name? Oh my God, I was right, you're a stalker, aren't you?"

" ... or it can happen that I'm just very perceptive of my surroundings. Let's say, your friends aren't the quietest companions" he affirmed enjoying her astonished/anger/adorable expressions.

"Maybe, but at least they're not so judgmental, nosey and obnoxious and with such an ego that can barely fit this room".

"If I were you, I wouldn't go on" he warned, now seriously pissed. In the end he was still Niklaus Mikaelson, the one and only and in his life he had snapped necks for far less than what this beautiful and impudent blonde was saying.

"Or what? Would you slap me? Well, I could always add "violent" to the already long list of your poor qualities; in the end it wouldn't ruin my already low opinion of you" she didn't get why all these angry words were leaving her mouth. Yeah, he had been a jerk of colossal dimensions but... why was she being so harsh?

"Well," he chuckled "despite this amusing conversation now I..."

"Yeah, yeah" she interrupted "you've got something to do and so on. But, you know what? So do I. Bye".

And so she left ad reached her friends.

He stayed a bit longer in front of the picture, wondering if she had looked at the plate hanged next to the painting.

_Niklaus Mikaelson, Portrait of a family_

Just few days had passed since the school trip, nevertheless it was like those days belonged to ages ago. Maybe it was just for all those visits and papers to sign that were filling her life, or maybe it was up to the pills. "The red one with light, the blue one for night" she had ironically rhymed. How did they say, let's have a philosophical attitude? Well, she was trying. She was in this, she couldn't run away, there was no in or out, no escape, no other possibilities, no other choice. So, "no more clouds, just the silver lining", that would have been her motto from now on, she thought smiling while wandering through the kitchen with her cup of coffee, getting ready for the umpteenth visits and analysis. In a week or less she would begin the chemo and they had to see if her body was ready for that.

Tock, tock.

She heard someone's knocking at the door.

"Hi Ty" she greeted a bit startled and even a bit worried when she saw him. She had said to no one of the visit. She knew, they wanted to help her and be supportive, but sometimes it was overbearing pretending to not see their expressions when doctors talked about the possible consequences of the therapy. She wanted to be strong and face it bravely, but it all seemed so difficult when she noticed the fear that she wanted to hide, so easily displayed by the others. Truth be told, Tyler had more reasons to be a bit angry with her. He had known about her condition after a while and he hadn't been very happy of her behaviour.

"Hi Care" he answered coldly. He knew "Should you tell me something?" he asked remaining on the door step.

"Tyler, listen, I understand that you..."

"I don't really get it. _You_'ve told us of all this to have some support. And then what? You sneak around to not talk of your visits."

"I ..." she was startled . All those monologues she had told herself suddenly seemed not to work anymore. She stood speechless in front of him, with a desperate expression that she hoped would be more indicative than many words.

"Forget it" finished he running away and leaving her at the door, alone, with her sense of guilt.

"What a prick!" Bonnie exclaimed when Caroline told her and Elena about that morning. The brunette was trying on a pair of silver heels.

It was called rehabilitative shopping, or at least that was how they named it. When you feel down, fill your emptiness with as many clothes you can buy.

"Well, he was angry to have been put apart. He feels useless and would like to help you, like any of us. We should feel with him" added Elena seeing in the glass how the red crimson dress was fitting her.

"Change it, too bitchy" the blonde claimed looking at the dress.

"It's prom, not a tea party" she replied.

"This Damon must really have an influence on you" said Bonnie coming out from the changing room with a sleeveless long blue dress. It had a plunging neckline and sticked at the body till the hips, from where it went softly "What about this?".

"Love it" she affirmed giving another look at the exposed dresses. There were some cute ones, and a green one pretty nice, but nothing outstanding. This would probably be her last party and she wanted to be hot, beautiful, amazing. " About the fellow, when will you introduce him to us? Aren't you afraid of us, are you?" she joked.

"Why should I Clare? In the end, when I started going out with Matt, you just came out with this long list of all the reasons why I shouldn't have dated him."

"I was thinking of the consequences for our group. I just wanted to be sure that once over, there wouldn't be embarrassing moments between us. It was understandable."

"Care, you even mentioned creepy genetic factors" added Elena raising her eyebrows to Caroline.

"Yeah, I know, genial. Don't need to remind me."

"Sure" Elena laughed "By the way, I want to wait a bit before pushing him into all this. It's too early".

"What the hell, we're nineteen !" Bonnie exclaimed breaking the dull conversation that had been on since they had entered the Grill.

"Don't tell me, I'll probably be stuck in this age for ever" Caroline replied taking another sip of her coke.

"Let's do something" she proposed "What would you like to do before... you know."

"Before I die? You can say the word "death" Bon, it won't come sooner just 'cause we name it" she kidded trying to relieve the suddenly thick air "Anyway, I don't know. There are so many things that I can't even think properly... It's that I'm conscious there are many things I'll never be able to try, and I'd like to do everything but..." she sighed, sometimes words seemed completely unable to do their job.

"Mmmm, I got it...Let's make a list" she shouted suddenly after having been silent for a while "Who knows why we haven't done this before. We will make a list of all the things you want to do before of the "Great day"" she could have never been able to match the word death to her friend "After all we'll have eight months above us to realize it" she concluded smiling victoriously to the blonde.


	4. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone!**

**I hope you fancy, or not dislike, or at least not hate what I've written XD. Joking, well, more or less...Anyway, I'm open to your critics, both positive and negative,and comment so, if there's something you don't like, don't worry and let me know.**

**I beg your pardon for my English, I know that maybe there are some mistakes and reading the story can be a bit tedious. Sorry again!**

**For the record, after this chapter, something more dynamic should come. Or at least I hope.**

**What else to add... Have a good reading!**

Chapter three

"... in a day or maybe two, you should feel better. This has been the first time so, for few days, you'll be hospitalised here, but next times..." Dr Salvatore's voice came back being just a far unintelligible eco. Those few words were the only things that she had kept.

Two days... she didn't know if she would be able to resist so much. She had frightened that day all last week. She felt a wreck. Even thinking seemed an unbearable work. She could perceive every cell of her body hurt. She was afraid to even open her mouth 'cause she threatened the pain at the angles of the lips. Her stomach was revolting. Ugh, it was like all this injected medicine had come into her stomach, burning and igniting through her veins, itching every member of flesh, and now, wanting to escape from her mouth. She wanted to puke. She wanted to get rid of this disgusting and nauseating weight that was in her tummy. She couldn't stand having her eyes open, light was too much strong. Even air was too thick. And it smelled. A smell of eggs and medicine and hospital and rubbish and... she couldn't keep holding on. She felt tears running through her face. She would have taken them off but raising her arm was a too hard task for her now. She wasn't able to detect the temperature. It just seemed to be wrong. Didn't know if hot or cold, just wrong. She didn't even know why. It was just all so wrong. Now, she only wanted to escape from her burning skin, to get free of that inability to stand even the air she breathed. All of a sudden death didn't look so terrifying and scaring...

"Shhh" said a familiar voice "She's still sleeping."

She could hardly match the voice with a face, but... her mum. Oh, yes. It had to belong to her mum.

She slowly opened her eyes, wanting to take confidence with the world outside.

"I'll pass later" said a guy. This time it occurred less time to her to recognize it.

"Tyler" she slightly whispered, coughing a little. It must have been a while since the last time she had drunk some liquids.

"I'm gonna call the doctor" said Liz leaving the two of them alone.

"Care, ehi" said he smiling. He had to be embarrassed; obviously he didn't know what to do, how to behave... well, not obviously. This should have been easy, or at least it was... before all this crap.

"Why ..." she tried to say "are you..." her voice fatigued passing through her chopped lips ".. here?".

Despite being barely whispered those words came out more harshly that she had meant, or that she had wanted him to hear.

"Are you ok? Do you need some water?" he asked concerned and maybe a bit relieved to have finally something to do, she thought evilly.

"No, thanks" she wouldn't give him this relief. _She _was the one who had just been filled with some unknown medicine with a freaking name. _She_had felt like trash for... she didn't even know how much time she had spent into that bed. A day, two, or a week. How did he dare to behave like this?

"Are you sure? You look a bit..."

"Pale? Tired? Ill?" she sarcastically completed his sentence "I wonder why."

His initial smile fell down. He was worried to have said something wrong, inappropriate. In another occasion he neither would have noticed, or if he would, then he would have just excused himself to not listen to her bubbling. However, why should she blame him for all this?

"You know, actually I'd really like some water, but I'm not sure I can take it."

"I go ask a nurse."

"Ok, I wait here" as if she had any other possibility...

Well, she could get to the window. She seemed to have recovered, although she was not sure. In any case it would be enough. It was just few steps... she could have done it. She wondered how was the sky. From the light who passed through the curtain it must have been sunny.

Extremely slowly she removed the blankets from her leg with her full-of-IV-and-BaidAid hand. Then she raised her head. Ugh, she fell down to the pillow. It was not so easy, after all. She hadn't eaten from the chemo she realized now a bit more clearly. She didn't care. She wonted to spread the curtains.

"I can do it" . She inspired. "I can do it" . She expired. "I can do it". She raised her head again and helping her body with the hands she found the balance. Then, always slowly, she moved her leg across the bed. Her foot fell on the floor. It was cold. Barefoot, being careful to push even the I.V. together with the body that... "Aaah" she had just fallen on her knees next to the desk near the window. Leaning on the chair she got up. Trembling she finally reached the window. She opened it. Yeah, there was a lot of light. It must have been midday. However, she din't care anymore.

The ripper had just sent a text saying to go there. Stefan would have preferred a night meeting, but unfortunately he was busy. Anyway Klaus didn't care for those details. He just wanted his blood bags. In those latter days Bekah had been literary out of her mind. She still had to get accustomed to her new diet. By the way she looked happy, now she was savouring a bit of that common daily boring human routing she had always aimed to.

Those were the thoughts wandering in Klaus' mind while walking for the hospital. And there he saw her. She was trying to get up from the bed. She looked sick and pale. However all that just gave her a sort of dramatic and dreamlike atmosphere. She had failed, she had to be weak. "Why is she here?" he asked to himself. It was not his business, he claimed shaking his head. Ah! She had just fallen on her knees. He gulped down. The desire to get inside to help her was strong. At worst he would be rejected. Again. Anyway she had done. She didn't wait for knights. Not at all a damsel in distress, he smiled thinking of their first meeting. Something must have happened to her. Now she looked down and a wave of sadness covered her curious and lively eyes.

"Dr Salvatore is free. Come in" did that old and incompetent secretary with a saccharin voice that unnerved him.

Reluctantly he left behind that Romantic sight, worthy of a Hayez' painting.

"What the hell are you doing?" screamed Tyler at the sight of Caroline standing next to the window "Are you out of your mind? Doctor said you must be in bed, you still have to recover."

"Yeah, sorry. I just..." but what was the point in telling something he wouldn't get "Sorry Tyler."

He helped her coming back to the bed, probably she would never have been able to come back alone, probably she would never be anymore...

"Take what you want and go out" said soon Stefan, as the Original came in, throwing a bag to him "I've put the blood inside, so no one will make any question."

"I don't think here there's someone awake enough to suspect something. Anyway, I didn't know you were a psychiatrist" he said pretending indifference to probe and get some news about ... well, he was just curious, then, it was always better to be informed.

"That's gross and touchless, like you, anyway. For the record, this is the oncology division."

"Anyone on his floor belongs to this section?" he kept asking to get something about her reason to be there.

"Yes, that's what I've just said. As you can see, nature has created something so horrific and harmful that could just be compared to you. Now, keep everything and go."

Out of the studio, unable to resist the curiosity, he took another look at her room. She was sleeping. She was alone. He could hear her breath. It was low, weary, a bit tormented. Maybe she was having a nightmare.

"Would you buy a rose, Sir?" begged a poor man interrupting his vision.

Outside he would have snapped his neck without a second thought. Then he looked at the basket full of white roses and thought.

_That was the school gym. How did she get here? Today there shouldn't be any cheerleader practicing, the schedule said. But again, what was her schedule? She had forgotten, she couldn't even remember what day it was. Ugh, this medicine must have been stronger than she thought. She had to tell Dr Salvatore next time._

_"Ehi Care. What are you doing here?"_

_"Bonnie, it's you. God! I can't remember why I've come here. I just hope all this crap will finish soon" she explained relieved by her presence. A familiar face always helped._

_"You're right Care, it should. So, why don't you put an end to it?" asked her e with a too much serious expression that made the blonde freeze in her position._

_"What do you mean?" fuck, the situation was getting odder and odder. What the hell was going on?_

_"Think, you could just avoid so much pain to you."_

_"And to us" added Elena who had suddenly appeared behind her._

_She turned to her._

_"What the heck are you saying?" she whispered, gritting her teeth. She tried to avoid thinking at the suggestion. Truth be told, she had already thought at that, once or twice; but hearing that innuendo said aloud…_

_"Don't play fool. You know what we mean. There are just few months. What could change? Do you think that you'll get better? No, it won't happen. You'll just be weaker and weaker and weaker" kept on Elena with an empty smile._

_"And in the meanwhile we'll have to stay there, next to you, mourning for your health."_

_Caroline turned back. Now it was the turn of Tyler, who had come next to Bonnie._

_"Why are you saying that?" the anger she had felt at the beginning was starting to be replaced with a frightening sorrow. She sighed._

_"Cause I'm tired of all this. Do you think it's enjoying when your girlfriend is gonna die and treats you like hell?"_

_"I'm sorry, I know, I've been a bitch, but it's a difficult period and..."_

_"You know, that's difficult even for me, Care. So, do us a favour. Give this pain an end. Do it."_

_" I don't know what you're talking about and now get apart, I wanna go" but as she did for getting out of that creepy and uncomfortable situation he grabbed her arm._

_"Stop lying sweetie, don't tell me you've never thought of this solution. Few pills, then close your eyes and the play is done. No more suffering, no more doctors, no more chemo"_

_"Shut up!"_

_"No more hospitals" added Bonnie._

_"Shut up!"_

_"No more nausea" said Elena._

_"SHUT UP !"_

" SHOUT UP !" she shouted huskily covering her eyes. She was still in the hospital. She touched her forehead. It was covered with sweat.

"It was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare" she said to herself in the desperate attempt to calm herself down. She glanced around. She was alone. Oh, yeah, now she remembered her mum saying something about grabbing some clothes for her to come back home.

She turned to the left to take a napkin to get refreshed. There she noticed a bunch of white roses.

They were beautiful. All white and pure and delicate. Their petals looked so sooth, like silk, that made her wanna touch them. It was surprising how just the sight of beauty could ease our pain. Maybe cause it was the remainder that there was still something good in the world to fight for. Who had taken them here? She would have asked her mum later. Now she was too tired to think of anything.

She fell her head back to the pillow to come back sleeping now with the nice and comforting sight of the white roses in her mind.

Like a hamster, she was getting used to her wheel. Always the same said things. Always the same pitiful sights. Always the same steps. Visit. Check. Chemo. Visit. Check. Chemo. Visit. Check. Chemo. Today the wheel was stopped at visit. Again. It seemed that Dr Salvatore or Stefan, as he insisted to be called, wanted to have a chat with her. When he had called her yesterday to advice her, she had been a bit scared at the beginning : replaying the scene of their first meeting was not the case. She didn't have any intention to cry like a baby again. By the way, more and more she had felt the will to talk with someone outside of her "crew". She loved Bonnie and Elena, and of course even Tyler and Matt, but sometimes it was like they didn't really get it, and she was tired to pretend that it was ok for her. Just for once she would have liked to talk with one who, even if remotely, understood this confusion struggling in her mind.

She had just entered the hospital. How was it possible that it was always full of people? Seriously, they were in Mystic Falls, probably even Sherlock Holmes had more friends than its inhabitants. How could it always be so overcrowded? Leaving this question for another time, she made for Stefan' studio, when she bumped into a corridor whose walls were all covered with mirrors. No funds for sanitary and then that? Bah. Starting to wondering, she stood for a moment in front of one of these, staring at her reflection. There was a time when she had loved doing this. She could spend ages looking at herself, admiring how a dress fitted or adjusting and moving her hair up and down to find the better place. Now, instead, she could just see a pale face with dark bags under her eyes that made her look really tired. Then there were her eyebrows, or maybe it was up to the eyelids... she didn't know but there was something in her eyes that she didn't recognize. She touched the glass in the useless attempt to catch that something. At the sensation of the cold surface the angle of her mouth turned down. She gulped. Now she really needed this chat.

She left her hand and restarted walking when

"Ehi, be careful" she shouted to someone who had just come into her, making her lose the balance.

"Actually I think it's all up to you, sweetheart" chuckled Klaus encircling her waist with his arm to help her "You should be more careful at where you walk, Caroline."

No, please, no really. It couldn't be him. And raising her head she finally stared at her icing on the cake for this day.

"Hi Klaus" she greeted pretending spite. Wait, why "pretending"? Fuck. Staring at him she found herself unable to think properly. Loads of thoughts were rushing in her mind and she couldn't find a reasonable explanation to that. It must have been his cologne or the closeness to his firm chest or the sparkle behind his eyes or the feeling of his breath on her lips or the comforting warmth of his hand on her back...what? "Could you please leave your arm from my body? I'm getting sick just at the thought of it."

"Indeed, darling, you don't have a very good look" affirmed he leaving slowly his arm from her back, being careful to memorize the feeling and the shape of every curve.

"That must be the sight of your presence. Don't worry, I'll recover as soon as I'll shut down this conversation."

Said so, she ran away from him, ready to recollect her thoughts and having a grip to my hormones.

"Have you eaten this morning?" he asked concerned following her. Knowing now her condition, he could easier see all the symptoms of the disease on her body. However, irony wanted that this struggle between her weak body and her fighting spirit made her look even more attractive. At the museum he had caught some sadness in her features and her statements, but even strength and pride. Who knew if his blood could heal her? He could just imagine how even more stunning she could be out of this situation. He should talk about this with the ripper.

"Not your business."

" Well, if you step again on my Italian handmade shoes because of your poor state, you see that it becomes a problem of mine." he joked.

"Poor state? Seriously? You know what? To avoid that weak people in a poor state jumps in you again, you should avoid hospitals, or even better, you should avoid _me_. God knows what could happen to your leather jacket if I would feel in need to puke and that, just for the record, is a feeling really recurrent every time I see you."

"I hoped the roses I sent you could help for a truce."

"What?" she had not asked anymore about the flowers, although she thought that maybe it had been from her father or Tyler.

She was gobsmacked by this news. She didn't know if it was because that meant that her father had totally forgotten to have a daughter or for the fact that Klaus must have known by now that she had cancer.

"The white roses? Do you like them? People always go for the red ones; on my opinion the whites are more apt to the change of human condition." He explained with a thoughtful expression.

"Daisies" it blurred out of her mouth unexpectedly "I reckon that daisies actually represents our condition. They're humble and simple and weak on their own, but when you put hundreds or thousands of them together, they're stunning."

As she finished she felt his eyes on her. They were confused and curious. She would have liked to know what he was thinking.

"Caroline, I was waiting for you. I was starting believing you wouldn't have come anymore" greeted Dr Salvatore from the door of his studio. She didn't realized she had got there.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must be late."

"Don't worry" Stefan went on while, with an air between worried and surprised, he looked first at Klaus and then at her "Do you know each other?"

"No" she answered.

"Yes" he said simultaneously "I've had the honour to meet Ms Forbes time ago" Klaus affirmed with a smile "now, if you let me, I really must go."

Once the door was closed, they sat . The previous weird atmosphere starting to thin.

"How did you meet him?" he soon questioned a little nervous.

"Uhm, in the hospital; you know, the first time I came."

" Yeah, I get it " he nodded looking intensely at her neck how if he was looking for something "Have you recently had lacks of memory or you've found yourself in a place but you can't remember how you get there?"

"Ugh, no. Why? Will the chemo affect my memory too?" she asked worried.

"No, no, don't worry. I'm just checking. Sorry, sometimes I'm too much meticulous" he laughed and sitting next to her he added " so, how do you do?"

" What the hell of a question is that?" she thought . She must have expressed this thought with her face cause he soon said

"Ok, maybe not the most suitable question. However, I mean, how do you feel? I mean even at school, with your friends, if you're having any problems... apart from the obvious ones."

"Don't worry, it' ok, I get your point. Well, how can I say, mmm, it's going... I mean, I'm going on" then, sensing his skeptical expression she continued "Ok, there are some problems with my friends; well, actually, the fault is mine. In addition, there's all this time factor that takes over me. Lately it's like I were in a clock and every night, in my bed, I could feel the sound of the hour-hand moving and getting closer and closer to my death hour. My time is running out and I'd like to be faster, to win it, but it's as if I'm trapped and I've got billions things I wanna do, but I can't ."

"Caroline, let someone a bit wiser and older tell you something."

"Ehi, you don't look so old."

As if she had just said a joke that she didn't get, he smiled pleased.

"I'll take it as a compliment. Anyway, what I want you to understand is that most of the times, time is overvalued. Sometimes you find more significant a true emotion which lasts few weeks, or maybe few days, than an entire existence."

"How do I find this "emotion"?"

"It's not a case of finding, but of letting it found us."

"I see" she nodded at him not having actually got the all point. In any case, she had appreciated his try.

She looked at the clock hung up on the wall behind where he had sat.12:30. Half an hour ago she had an appointment with the others. If Klaus wouldn't have wasted her time.

"Do you gotta go?"

As always his empathy and kindness had saved her.

"You know, my friends."

"You don't have to excuse yourself" he smiled softly to her patting on her shoulder "Just, before you leave, I'd like you to promise me that from now on you'll take some vervain every morning together with the pills."

"Oh, ok. No problem. What's that for?"

"Let's say, for prevent from more dangerous scenarios."

"Whao! Worse than what I'm getting through? I dare you" she joked leaving the studio.

£Oh, Caroline. I truly hope you'll never find out£ whispered Stefan on his own behind his desk.


End file.
